Category:General
Posted on: October 20, 2011 10:28 pm
Edited on: November 6, 2011 9:18 am
 

D.P. Announces End Of Production Strike

D.P. Wire Report 10/20/11 6:34p.m.

The Disassociated Press is pleased to announce the end of it's production strike, causing last week's NFL Flop 10 poll to be missed, along with three other news articles that have unfortunately had to be scrubbed, including an in depth analysis of the recent pot calling the kettle black situation compliment paid to Norvell Turner by the Ryan coach who does not think his defense practices against 7 receivers better than Calvin Johnson (Rex for those of you who were lost at the word Norvell) by senior writer N. Formation.  We will shortly bring you the missing Week 5 NFL Flop 10 Poll followed by the riveting Week 6 NFL Flop 10 poll.  CEO of the Disassociated Press who will only go on record under the alias BuccinGator, had this to say.  "After reviewing the hacking scandal that engulfed News Corp and 'News of the World,' several members of our production staff became concerned over how we were able to get so many breaking stories, such as the dismissal of Joey Cora from the White Sox.  As such, we had to assure them that all of our information came from legal, credible sources such as the National Enquirer's website.  Only then did they agree to return to be able to bring you the breaking news stories you care about."  But, the strike was not without it's consequences.  D.P. reader The Muffin Man is quoted, "Yeah, I was POed.  Look, I base some of my NFL pool picks around who are the teams in the D.P. Flop 10, specifically, who not to choose.  Not having that critical information caused me to only get 10 correct, 2 less than the weekly winner.  Consider me a former D.P. reader."  In a completely unrelated story, senior D.P. editor Lindsay Lohan will unfortunately be taking some time off due to legal issues not stemming from our sources.

D.P. Archives:
10/6/11 Predictions of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse
10/4/11 D.P. NFL Week 4 Flop 10 Poll
10/01/11 The 2011 MLB Disassociated Team of the Year Award
9/27/11 D.P. Week 3 NFL Flop 10 Poll
9/27/11 "@JoeyCora, you're fired! #pinkslip"
9/26/11 Gopher Engineering Students To Fix Things Again


Posted on: October 6, 2011 11:36 pm
Edited on: November 6, 2011 9:14 am
 

Predictions of The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

D.P. Wire Report 10/6/11 5:27p.m.

According to the Mayan calendar, the world will come to an end on Dec. 21st 2012.  Count sports prognosticator Noah Tall among the believers.  In fact, in an exclusive D.P. interview with Mr. Tall, he says that the winners of the next 4 major sports seasons, not counting the ongoing MLB playoffs, will be the telltale signs of the harbingers of doom.  In fact, beyond the soon to be crowned World Series winner, each sport has exactly one championship game or series left in them.  Noah gives his Four Horsemen of the Sports Apocalypse, in order.

NFL- Detriot Lions.  Here Mr. Tall seems to be out to a good start.  The only team to go 0-16 in NFL history is off to a 4-0 start, and seems destined for a playoff berth.  Whether the Lions can take that next step in winning a game they have yet to participate in remains to be seen.  Noah also predicts that after this event, Harold Camping will make yet another stab at the date of Rapture.

NHL- New York Islanders.  Another team with recent struggles, but a storied history, are thought by most experts to be a fringe playoff team for the 2012 Stanley Cup.  Mr. Tall says that shortly after this portent of the end comes to fruition, all hockey rinks will melt (not hard to imagine since the Cup is awarded in June) and hell will freeze over.  Noah does admit that the second one will be hard to prove.

NBA- New Jersey Nets.  Just two years removed from an absymal 12-70 regular season record, Noah Tall believes that the Nyets financial backing of Russian Gazillionaire Mikhail Prokhorov and business leadership of Jay-Z will lead them to the promised land.  He also believes that NBA fans everywhere will gouge out their eyes as the playoff broadcasts show Kim Kardashian 80 million times.  When pointed out that Kris Humphries is a free agent, Noah retorted, "Damnit, I know it all!  Kris will be a Net.  It's in the cards."

MLB- Chicago Cubs.  As if there was any doubt as to what the most telltale sign of the world's demise would be, Noah says the Cubs lifting the World Series trophy will be as the opening of the 7th Seal.  Tall claims there's a saying attributed to Nostradamus that states, "When the little bears from the windy place capture the pennant, the end is nigh."  "But I'm 100 times better than that hack," says Noah.

So there you have it, the four things to watch out for that might truly signal the end of the world.  Personally, I'm not quite ready to call it a career, so, does anybody know where Steve Bartman is nowadays?

D.P. Archives:
10/4/11 D.P. NFL Week 4 Flop 10 Poll
10/01/11 The 2011 MLB Disassociated Team of the Year Award
9/27/11 D.P. Week 3 NFL Flop 10 Poll
9/27/11 "@JoeyCora, you're fired! #pinkslip"
9/26/11 Gopher Engineering Students To Fix Things Again

Posted on: June 3, 2011 11:45 pm
 

An Update on MamaGator

Those of you who have known me for a long time here in the cbssports.com community know I disappeared for a couple weeks in December 2009 because my mom was hospitalized due to her kidneys failing.  After suffering through the absentmindedness brought on by toxins building up inside her, to her frailty immediately afterward, to undergoing dialysis at first 3 times a week for 4 hours which was now down to twice a week for about 3, I am pleased to announce that a donor kidney came through for MamaGator, it has been successfully transplanted, and all signs are good.  The prognosis is good that I'll be able to add her as kidney disease survivor to my son as cancer survivor.
Category: General
Tags: MamaGator
 
Posted on: December 11, 2010 10:41 pm
 

Worst Song Ever, The Sour 16

Well folks, in order to keep this porgressing, I tabulated the votes I had and am now proud to present the 16 worst songs voted on by the cbssports.com community.  Remember, you are voting for one song in each matchup, the one you consider to out garbage the other.  The winners will meet in 2-3 weeks in the regional finals, also known as the Earbleeding Eight.  Also, I am open to suggestions as to the name of our Final Four.  Oh, and is typical of a tournament (hear that, BCS), a number one seed has already fallen.  R.I.P. to Under Pressure by Queen, er, Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice.  The Ice Man failed to cometh into the third round.  Also gone are 2 seeds Whoomp, There It Is (Tag Team, gone again.  Now they can party with their party people) and Tiptoe Through The Tulips (we just REALLY, REALLY hate Michael Bolton).  Also mid-major double digit seed Rico Suave is proudly making its trip to the Sour Sixteen.  Well, here we go folks, and always, feel free to comment and HAVE FUN (and don't send me your psychiatrist or otologist bills)!!!

Milli Vanilli SemiFinal 1
1) Macarena
by Los Del Rio vs 13) Rico Suave by Gerardo

Milli Vanilli SemiFinal 2
6) Boogie, Oogie, Oogie
by Taste Of Honey vs 7) Loving You by Minnie Ripperton

New Kids SemiFinal 1
8) Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
by Wham! vs 4) She Bang by Ricky Martin

New Kids SemiFinal 2
6) Hangin' Tough
by New Kids On The Block vs 2) Last Christmas by Wham! (imagine all the people an all Wham! final)

Village People SemiFinal 1
1) Do You Really Want To Hurt Me
by Culture Club vs 4) Living La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin

Village People SemiFianl 2
6) Bye Bye Bye
bye 'N Sync vs 7) How Am I Supposed To Live Without You by Micahel Bolton (what I want to know is why Barbie Girl lost already)

Air Supply SemiFinal 1
1) Achy Breaky Heart
by Billy Ray Cyrus vs 4) Having My Baby by Paul Anka (Achy Breaky a surprise buzzer beater to advance)

Air Supply SemiFinal 2
6) Sole Provider
by Michael Bolton vs 2) I Am Woman by Helen Reddy
Posted on: November 9, 2010 11:07 pm
Edited on: December 11, 2010 10:05 pm
 

Worst Song Ever Round of 32

Well, here it is folks.  To avoid dragging this out further, I went ahead and tallied the votes I had and decided to go on hoping by advancing this, I'll get some fresh blood.  Might get off my duff and PM some people like Solomon who were active in the prelims, too.  Also going to try to get some of the infinity gang and caption gang over here.  Anyway, here are the 32 songs you have decided were putrid enough to continue on.  Next stop, The Sour Sixteen!  I'll leave this open for about two weeks.  And to those of you like Len who are new, yes we are voting for the ultimate in crappiness.  Sorry I didn't make that clear.  And thanks for stopping by and voting.

Milli Vanilli Regional

1) Macarena
by Los Del Rio vs 8) Torn Between Two Lovers by Mary McGregor
5) Thong Song by Sisqo vs 13) Rico Suave by Gerardo
3) Wannabe by Spice Girls vs 6) Boogie Oogie Oogie by A Taste Of Honey
7) Loving You by Minnie Ripperton vs 2) Whoomp, There It Is by Tag Team

New Kids Regional

1) Ice Ice Baby
by Vanilla Ice vs 8) Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham!
5) Invisible by Clay Aiken vs 4) She Bang by Ricky Martin
3) You Light Up My Life by Debbie Boone vs 6) Hangin' Tough by New Kids On The Block
10) In The Navy by Village People vs 2) Last Christmas by Wham!

Village People Regional

1) Do You Really Want To Hurt Me
by Culture Club vs 8) Muskrat Love by Captain and Tenille
5) Two Of Hearts by Stacy Q vs 4) Living La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin
3) Barbie Girl by Aqua vs 6)Bye Bye Bye by 'N Sync
7) How Am I Supposed To Live Without You by Michael Bolton vs 2) Tiptoe Through The Tulips by Tiny Tim

Air Supply Regional

1) Achy Breaky Heart
by Billy Ray Cyrus vs 8) Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley
5) She's Like The Wind by Patrick Swayze vs 4) Having My Baby by Paul Anka
3) You're Beautiful by James Blount vs 6) Sole Provider by Michael Bolton
7) Bad Day by Daniel Powter vs 2) I Am Woman by Helen Reddy

As always, have fun and feel free to add your own comments.
Posted on: October 26, 2010 5:32 pm
 

Worst Song Ever Round of 65, The Journey Resumes

And no, I'm not refering to the group (thankfully).  I'm hoping by posting a new blog entry, some of the people who missed out in the field of 65 will chime in with their votes (especially those who have Faved me, for those who can still add favorites, that is).  If not, I'll PM them next week when I'm on vacation from work and get this thing kick started again.  I do apologize for the nearly 5 month lag.  It was never intended.  Just got lazy knowing I needed to PM some people, and then my real job kicked in.  I promise to see it through till the end, which should be right about the end of the year if things go as planned (which so far they have not, so it'll be June of next year knowing my luck).  For those who have not voted, I shall direct your attention here: http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/
entry/10264446/22552566
   and here: http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/
entry/10264446/22005557
.  And please feel free to go back and see some of the early fun.  And hopefully I remember since cbssports.com STILL hasn't fixed the blog comment counter YET.  I think it's on the list right behind fixing the quote box and the favorite member thing.
Posted on: June 13, 2010 5:19 pm
 

Worst Song Ever Round of 65 Regionals 3 and 4

Okay, so I'm late with posting this.  Hope everybody hasn't been missing it.  I'm still waiting for some people who participated in the Prelims to chime in on this round.  Haven't been able to reach out to them.  Will do it soon.  For those of you who didn't vote for Regionals 1 and 2, here's the link: http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/
entry/10264446/22005557
  In the meanwhile, I'll leave the first set in the round of 65 open while we duke out this set.  Obviously, this requires me declaring a winner in the play-in game.  I'm confident that Hanson's catchy crappy MmmBop would have garnered the most votes.  So here it is, The third and fourth regionals in our contest of perfectly craptastic music.  And I must express my disappointment in Barbie Girl not being higher than a three seed.

Village People Regional

1) Do You Really Want To Hurt Me by Culture Club
vs. 16) MmmBop by Hanson
8) Muskrat Love by Captain and Tenille
vs. 9) Yummy, Yummy, Yummy by The Ohio Express
5) Two Of Hearts by Stacy Q
vs. 12) Miss Me Blind by Culture Club
4) Living La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin
vs. 13) I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred
3) Barbie Girl by Aqua
vs. 14) I've Never Been To Me by Charlene
6) Bye Bye Bye by 'N Sync
vs. 11) I'm Like A Bird by Nellie Furtado
7) How Am I Supposed To Live Without You by Michael Bolton
vs. 10) Cha Cha Slide by Mr. C
2) Tiptoe Through The Tulips by Tiny Tim
vs. 15) YMCA by The Village People

Air Supply Regional

1) Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus
vs. 16) We Go Togerther by John Travolta and Olivia Newton John
8) Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley
vs. 9) I Touch Myself by The Divinyls
5) She's Like The Wind by Patrick Swayze
vs. 12) These Words by Netasha Bedford
4) Having My Baby by Paul Anka
vs. 13) Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm by The Crash Test Dummies
3) You're Beautiful by James Blount
vs. 14) Feelings by Albert Morris
6) Sole Provider by Michael Bolton
vs. 11) You're Body Is A Wonderland by John Mayer
7) Bad Day by Daniel Powter
vs. 10) She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby
2) I Am Woman by Helen Reddy
vs. 15) Milkshake by Kelis

Oh, and one last scary thing.  Running this blogoff has made me realize the singers of all the crappy music as I only had to look to my notes to make sure I was spelling names correctly, not to find out whodunit.  Not exactly sure that's a good thing.  Well, here they are, the last two regionals.  I'll leave these up for two weeks (and contact the missing people), then announce the winners by posting the round of 32 all at the same time.  From here, the pace should pick up.
Posted on: May 22, 2010 6:54 pm
Edited on: May 24, 2010 4:32 pm
 

Worst Song Ever Field of 65 Regionals 1&2

I just want to thank again all the community members who have voted in our efforts to come up with the worst song ever.  I especially want to thank darkcloud who's comments on the songs often had me rolling.  That's what this competition was all about.  Anyway, time to announce the songs that make up the final 32 in our field of 65 and unveil the first half of the tournament bracket.  Now songs will go one on one the rest of the way, with the winner advancing.  And a thanks to community member iamyo who came up with this idea, and the fantastic names of the four regionals.  Now, the prelims are over.  IT'S TOURNAMENT TIME!!!!  Oh, and I based seeding on the voting, not my own personal bias, so if you don't like it, you have nobody to blame but yourselves.

First, the results of Prelims 3 and 4:
Group 17, we all agree that Daniel Powter did indeed have a bad day when he made his advancing piece of auditory trash.  Going along with him is first place Christmas disaster Last Christmas.
For Group 18, Sisqo's Thong Song was the clear winner followed by the Village People's In The Navy.  Enough people thought Rod Stewart was sexy enough, as he failed to advance by two votes.
In Group 19, Hey, Mr. Tamborine Man, you are moving on.  Going him is first place Wannabe.  My personally biased number 2 Rocky Top only received 5 votes.
Group 20, Oh Mickey, you're so fine, and you're done, too, as advancing are John Mayer's disasterpiece You're Body Is A Wonderland along with Feelings.
In a tightly contested Group 21, songs 1-3 were seperated by a mere 2 votes.  Advancing are my top 2 Never Gonna Give You Up and I'm Like A Bird, which edged the Neil Sedaka classic Fly Don't Fly On Me.
In Group 22, everyone agreed that Ricky Martin drove them into the crazy life.  The votes sharply dropped off to number 2 Milkshake by Kelis.  Only two people despised the psychadelic Crimson and Clover as much as I did.
For Group 23, Milli Vanilli's lip-synched Girl You Know It's True advanced easily, followed by another sharp drop to number 2 Who Let The Dogs Out?
Group 24 shows that everyone does indeed want Clay Aiken to turn invisible, while Melanie Safka's screechfest Brand New Key edged Black Eyed Peas' My Humps for second place.  My personal number 1 Afternoon delight was a distant fourth.
In Group 25, somebody please wake Wham! up before they go go on to the field of 65 as the top vote getter.  It, and second place Just A Friend easily crushed my two personal tastes of bad music, I Ran and Don't Cry Out Loud.  Melissa Manchester can keep it inside as she is not advancing.
Group 26 featured my first chance to vote as two songs were tied for second.  Advancing easily was Don Johnson's Heartbeat, while Michael Jackson's Bad and Frank Zappa's Valley Girl were tied.  While Bad is indeed bad, to me, Valley Girl is worse and moves on.
For Group 27, everyone's bad taste matched my own, as moving on are Muskrat Love and Yummy, Yummy, Yummy.
In Group 28, my personal top 2 advanced again as continuing the fun are I'm Too Sexy and Miss Me Blind.
Group 29 featured a somewhat of an upset for me as My Heart Will Go On will NOT be going on.  Instead, it was edged by one vote by tied first place songs Rico Suave and YMCA.
In Group 30, I'm a little sad as the clock has struck midnight at the oasis.  Edging it out were second place Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm and easy group winner, How Am I Supposed To Live Without you.  People really, REALLY hate Michael Bolton.
Group 31 had another tie for second, and another chance for me to throw around what little weight I could.  Moving on with easy winner Torn Between Two Lovers is my personally suggested We Go Together for just having REALLY bad lyrics.  It ended up tied with both The Beat Goes On and The Greatest Love Of All, which all received 5 votes.
Our final group had yet ANOTHER three way tie for second and again with 5 votes each.  I cast the winning vote for Walk The Dinosaur to move on ahead of True and Party All The Time.  Boy band classic Everybody (Backstreet's Back) was the top vote getter.

And now, the tournament:

First order of business is the play in game between 16) Valley Girl by Frank Zappa and 16) MmmBop by Hanson

Milli Vanilli Regional

1) Macarena by Los Del Rio
vs. 16) Walk The Dinosaur by Was/Not Was
8) Torn Between Two Lovers
vs. 9) Heartbeat by Don Johnson
5) Thong Song by Sisqo
vs. 12) Mr. Tamborine Man by Bob Dylan
4) Girl You Know It's True by Milli Vanilli
vs. 13) Rico Suave by Gerardo
3) Wannabe by The Spice Girls
vs. 14) We Are The World 2010 Remake by Various Artists
6) Boogie Oogie Oogie by A Taste Of Honey
vs. 11) Purple And Gold by Prince
7) Loving You by Minnie Ripperton
vs. 10) Ticks by Brad Paisley
2) Whoomp, There It Is by Tag Team
vs. 15) Just A Firend by Biz Markie

New Kids Regional

1) Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
vs. 16) Mony Mony by Billy Idol
8) Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham!
vs. 9) (Hit Me) Baby One More Time by Britney Spears
5) Invisible by Clay Aiken
vs. 12) Everybody (Backstreet's Back) by The Backstreet Boys
4) She Bang by Ricky Martin
vs. 13) Brand New Key by Melanie Safka
3) You Light Up My Life by Debbie Boone
vs. 14) U Can't Touch This by M.C. Hammer
6) Hangin' Tough by The New Kids On The Block
vs. 11) No Trash In My Trailer by Colt Ford
7) Summer Girls by LFO
vs. 10) In The Navy by The Village People
2) Last Christmas by Wham!
vs. 15) Who Let The Dogs Out by The Baha Men

 
 
 
 
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com